Still Confused
Thursday, December 25, 2003
ok, so we're friends, and that's cool... and now I've gotten all confused again... I geuss I'm just lucky that we're nothing but friends, things are confuzzled enough...
I don't like doing these dumb journal style posts... not my style...
obvious who it's of...
Monday, November 24, 2003
uhhh... so, eproc ;), if you do bother to come back and actually look at this, here's something intersting for ya.
and for who I sent this to, you even come here? oh well...
yeah... uhhh.. hi... :) I'm sitting ehre thinking about talking to you on msn, but I've nothing to talk about. I should prolly do my geography, but don't really want to...
I was talking to someone about some shit today... and that got me thinking again, which I really shouldn't do 'cause then I write stupid shit like this... whoah... you hadn't just closed the window...
but don't feel bad about ignoring me online, I don't expect you to pay me any attention actually... so I've lost my train of thought... unless it had ended already, I'm not sure... but that's a good thing that you talked to me then, stupid shit is always said when I'm like this, and I'm too dumb to just shut up. well it was about what it's always about that always pisses you off...but we've been cool lately so i really didn't want to talk about it... and I want to talk about that too, but that'd be putting more into then there was....but it was fun :), 'cept that now you're always all accusing that I want to go to your place and I'm just like "was just wondering if you wanted to hang out or something" and then I'm all sad but not really sad just spaced and stupid as usual... at least I don't think I'm sad... you left without saying goodbye again... sorry about asking if ya wanted to go to the movies last week, you prolly would've went with Teo otherwise, eh? though I don't see how I'd make a difference there... who the hell cares, right (not going for pity and shit, just rambling, so don't get pissed off or anything) but since I wasn't gonna talk about it and that pisses off everyone when I do that, I was talking about how I like you but you don't like me (I doubt it, wouldn't see why) and then how I'm just glad that I'm your friend (though that'll questionable after too many more of these) and how I wouldn't want to be anything more than friends because then we couldn't be friends and that I'm a loser (again, not pity trip, just the fuck up, is the way i am)...
trying not to swear... at least I tried
well... I think I meant to say soemthing else too... like I was going somewhere at the end there... the friends talk is confusing the hell outta me too, don't worry... so this should make us all distant again ;) that'll suck... I was trying to avoid talking about hanging out at your place when the buses were cancelled. That was fun. I never talked to anyone about it... no one would care... but we should do that again sometime... yeah right, eh? not after this shit, I'll be surprised if you're even talking to me... so... in case I haven't said it before, you know, but I'm scared, and i like it the way it is, so wouldn't risk it
More scared of acceptance than rejection
So did you read all that? I hope so... cheer up, be happy, not mad/sad/??? I've ran outta 3 letter ad emotions.
it's worse not knowing if you even read this... tempts me to do it again and makes me shy... the fore never happens and the later is a good thing, so it isn't like it affects you if you bother to read it, but please... for me...
so...uhhh.. yeah, there it is... better not have fucked things up because of you, eproc...
...today on msn...
Sunday, October 5, 2003
sounds so fucked to bad it's an act
hehehhhahahaHAHA, you worried yet?
Do I Think I'm Worse?
Paranoias all I've got left says:
stop pressuring me 'cause that never helps and just encourages me to fuck it up because I'm sick of everyone expecting so much of me and if I don't fail sometime then they put more pressure on and this shit doesn't come to mind when people are telling me to get back to work, making me pissed of and angry as hell, thinking of ways to make it go away, my mind ever wandering, waiting to fuck something over, leave it bloody in the corner
Do I Think I'm Worse?
Paranoias all I've got left says:
ok, I'm working now
(man I've issues...)
Do You Ever See This?
Friday, September 12, 2003
Cail, you said you 'accidently' hit this on your drop down... if you do come here then post something... It'll make sense sooner or later... Trust
Screw It
Sunday, September 7, 2003
ditched the tail, hopefully the page will speed up a bit now... I'm down to three marquees... I geuss the tagboard site may be a bit slow, same goes for my image server... but this is ridiculous
New Look
Monday, August 18, 2003
ok... is almost done. Changed the background. Killed a few marquees... is still a bit slow... that tail is going to have to die...
A bit faster...
Monday, August 18, 2003
Archived to drop some graphics, but not lose that template, it was cool. Uhh... is a bunch of game review things, 3 posts down on that page... Something important at the top, you'll know if it's you...
So am now gonna drop some graphics, see if I can get this to a decent load time (and not freeze your explorer)
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